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This year I turn 48 years old. When I think about that I find it impossible to believe. I've never really felt my age. But then, age is just a number right? I have always believed that was true but somehow being in my forties and getting ever so slightly closer to my fifties got me thinking about my age and physical health. And what I saw was not what I wanted to see. I was 5'6", 221 lbs. and completely out of shape. No regular healthy diet and no regular exercise plan. So just like many women I decided I wanted to do something about it.
My story is not much different from others. Growing up I was always one of those girls who thought she was fat but wasn't. When I look back at pictures I actually laugh to myself. I was 120 lbs. in high school and I thought I was fat! And although, I didn't have a weight problem, I also did not do a whole lot of physical activity either. I wasn't an athlete. I never played sports in school. I took two PE classes in college; golf and self defense. After high school my weight fluctuate between 130 lbs. and 140 lbs. When I started dating my first husband I gained 20 lbs the first year we were together but did not think it was something I couldn't reverse. So I joined the local fitness club and started going to aerobics classes with a friend. Actually, my first real struggle with my weight was after the birth of my son in 1994. (I cried at my last prenatal appointment when the scale said 202 lbs.) And cried again when I got home from the hospital and realized I still weighed 187 lbs. How could I gain 42 lbs. during the pregnancy and only lose 15 lbs. after the birth? I was young and dumb. And because I had never really had an exercise routine I had no idea what to do to lose the weight. So for almost 12 years I had an up and down relationship with my weight. I had no idea what I was doing right or wrong, just that sometimes I liked my body and others times I hated it.
In March 2007, my sister announced that she was having a big traditional wedding and that all her siblings would be in the wedding party. (There are seven of us). I realized at that point that I had 7 months to do something about my weight or I would be immortalized in her wedding pictures as her fat sister. The very next day I joined Weight Watchers. I weighed in at 198 lbs. Holy crap! Now Weight Watchers taught me a lot about eating that I didn't know before. I started watching what I ate, counting POINTS and drinking more water. The program encouraged 'activity' (which sounded better than exercise) and I started walking every day after work. Eventually, I was up to walking 4 miles every day and I was losing weight. Score! By the time my sisters wedding came I had lost 33 lbs. and was within 7 lbs. of the goal I had set for myself. I reached my goal in December 2007 and became a Lifetime Member in January 2008. Even better, I managed to keep up with meetings, walking 4 miles each day and eating right for three years despite a rocky marriage and stressful life.
In summer 2011 when my marriage came to an abrupt end I was 12 lbs over my goal weight. A slight setback. But it was at that point that it was most difficult to stay on the WW plan, attend meetings and exercise. My health took a backseat to what was going on in my life. From 2011 to 2016 when I married my second husband my weight fluctuated and I was unable to get back to my goal weight. I started to believe everyone who said, 'well, you know, it is harder to lose weight in your 40's' and 'you ARE getting older.' In 2017, I had a major setback when a few life events converged over only a couple months and I was stressed and anxious beyond anything I had ever dealt with in my life. I broke down and talked to my doctor about it and she suggested a low dose anti-depressant to help me get through it. Six months later I stopped taking it for two reasons; one, I was in a better place and two, I realized I was gaining weight again. Great. Now what.
Again, a few people told me 'Well, you are in your 40's' or even better 'get used to it.' What?? But seriously? What does that mean? That just because I reached my 40's I'm doomed to be overweight and out of shape with no way out? I refused to believe it and started looking at local gyms to join. In February
2018 I joined Muscle Inc., a local gym with a good reputation. My sister and her boyfriend had been going there for years. It was the best thing I have ever done for myself.
I started going to the gym 3 days a week to do cardio. I tried eating healthy, at least the version of healthy I was taught. And I lost a few pounds that month. Enter obstacle #1...In March I left the country for a teacher's fellowship. I was in Morocco (land of delicious food) for 3 weeks. When I returned I realized I had gained 6 lbs. while I was away. Ugh. Then obstacle #2... To make matters worse, after sleeping on a hotel bed for 3 weeks straight, I came home from Morocco with severe pain in my shoulder. So severe that on most days I couldn't move my left shoulder or didn't want to. I finally broke down and went to the doctor and discovered I have arthritis, bursitis, and tendonitis in my shoulder. Wonderful. Off I was sent to an orthopedic specialist and physical therapy. In the meantime I hadn't been to the gym in 8 weeks. Ugh. One day I forced myself to go even if it was just to talk to the owner about suspending my membership. I thought maybe physically walking into the gym would motivate me. It was then that I realized I had to be there. My shoulder injury had made me not care. I was on the sofa most days after work with ice on my shoulder and using anti-inflammatories, muscle relaxers and pain pills to ease the pain. And to make it worse I was not eating right either. Talking to Bobby at the gym about my frustrations and the situation I was in he asked me if I had ever considered working with a personal trainer and said I was the perfect candidate.
So, I decided I would see what it was all about. After having a consultation with one of the trainers about my situation and my goals I realized in that moment that I wanted to do this. That I had to do this. And the trainers at Muscles Inc seemed genuine and understanding. I mean, during the consultation I told the trainer, Scott, that I didn't like how I could feel my back fat. Seriously? Did I just mention back fat to a guy I just met? That is how genuine he made me feel about what they could do for me as trainers. I walked out of the meeting knowing I was going to sign up but told Scott I would contact him after I spoke to my husband. A few hours later I was telling him to sign me up!
