Muscles are torn in the gym, fed in the kitchen and built in bed

     Man! I cannot believe that the month of December is almost over! I know this is the time of year to reflect on the year and make New Year's Resolutions but I want to take a moment to reflect just on the last month. The last few weeks were long. It felt like they went on forever but yet flew by. This year was a life-changing year for me but this month was the most challenging of them all. (Aside from trying to find time to write this blog and work on writing my book) I've pushed myself to the max at the gym which is challenging in and of itself, especially since Brandon moved and the workouts he has been sending me are advanced and dependent on me deciding what weight to start and finish with for each exercise. I struggled this month with time management and staying on plan through the holidays and the last four days I have eaten more junk than I care to admit or that Brandon would want to know about. (Sorry boss!) But I weighed in this morning and I am happy to see that the number on the scale has not changed. So even though I was a little out of control it was just a little set back in discipline. I need to reset and refocus and move on. Also, this month between working full time, getting everything ready for the holiday's, training at the gym every night, food prep, keeping up with my family and writing I found myself getting to bed way too late every night. I think I got maybe four or five hours sleep each night. By the end of last week I was so exhausted I felt like I was sleepwalking. I am pretty sure that the exhaustion I was feeling is what led to my slacking in other areas of what I have tried to make a positive, healthy, motivating, inspired lifestyle. I guess what I'm trying to say is that even though I have written about my successes with training and making a lifestyle change, there are still challenges and I am far from perfect and the stress of everyday life still gets to me. But it is the response to it and how I deal with it that has changed.

"To wait for the external world around you to change before you alleviate your stress is a fools errand. You know what’s beyond that mountain? More fucking mountains. If you’re going to climb then you better adapt. Chronic stress is less about the environment and more about your response to it. So own it." - Own the Day, Own Your Life by Aubrey Marcus 

     Brandon told me early on in my training that there are three things that are important to success in training; good nutrition, plenty of rest, and the gym (in that order). I've got the latter part down.  I have adapted to the mindset that I 'have to go' to the gym instead of I'd 'like to go or should go' to the gym. And when I go I have no problem pushing myself to the max. Brandon has instilled in me a 'push' that drives me to make every day at the gym a badass workout. He jokingly said it is his gift to me, Merry Christmas! (insert laughing emoji) But I have to say it is one of the best gifts I could get. I find myself at the gym training on my own, looking at the workout he has sent to me and picturing what he would be saying if he were standing right there while I was doing each exercise. I have learned that is part of the 'push.' Even without him there I do not disappoint, myself or him. The workouts he sends me don't include the weight for each set. He told me to feel it out and choose a weight that is challenging but not too heavy. So I look at the weights and choose what I think I can handle for that particular exercise. But as I am finding out from the severity of my DOMS (delayed onset muscle soreness), often I am pushing for the more challenging weights. So of the three parts of training, the gym has been no problem for me. Nutrition and rest on the other hand are something I need to perfect.
     
      My obsession with the gym has been a double edged sword. Although, the training is getting me into the best shape of my life, it has also become a big part of my free time. And as I said, time management is something I struggled with this month and although, I have made the gym a priority, making the time for good nutrition and rest is something I still need to work on. Before Brandon moved we were training 6 days a week which meant I was at the gym for a couple hours each week night and on Sunday afternoons. So after working all day I would get home, change for the gym, feed my family, and head out the door. By the time I got home it would be bed time for little man, pack lunches, get everything together for the next work day and on some nights grade papers or tweak lesson plans, work on this blog or my book and I still needed to squeeze in some quality time with my husband. The weekend would come and I would be just as busy. Saturday is typically my rest day from the gym but I would pack everything else into that day; free time with family and friends, cleaning, food shopping, running errands and writing. Then Sunday was the gym and food prep, lesson plans and grading for the week and often a family gathering of some sort. And there were times when I only had time to prep meals for the next day instead of the week. This meant I had to make time at some point during the week to do meal prep which would mean staying up late after getting home from the gym and doing everything else in my daily evening routine. When Brandon moved I started hitting the gym in the afternoon so I had my evenings free. But at that point my evenings were dedicated to Christmas shopping, decorating the house, food shopping, wrapping presents and preparing for a Christmas party and ultimately, getting to bed very late every night. By the time the Christmas break arrived I was so exhausted I slept in last Saturday, something I needed a long time before that.  
     
      The busier I am the less time I have for food prep. When it comes to nutrition I am most successful when I plan and prep ahead of time.  Like teaching a unit in my classroom where the most successful lessons are those that are planned and prepared well. And the more exhausted I was the more I found myself slacking on nutrition. At first with food prep and later with missing meals here and there and for the last week not following the meal plan at all. And although I started by trying to make smart choices and eating clean food, that did not last through the holiday. The last four days I found myself eating bread dip, Christmas cookies, waffles and other carbs and processed foods that I haven't touched in months. And I have enjoyed more than a couple glasses of wine or adult beverages in the last week as well. Last night, I took a step back and told myself that I had to get back on plan. And the best way for me to get on plan is to take the time to do meal prep. Food shopping and prepping my meals for the rest of the week will be my priority tomorrow morning. Getting back onto carb cycling and my supplements (which I haven't taken in over a week. Again, sorry boss!) is the only way my hard work at the gym will pay off.

      So looking over this last month and evaluating where I am and how far I have come, I have to remind myself that I'm not done yet with my weight loss journey. I still have about 30 lbs to lose and its time to refocus. My nutrition is an important part of this whole process and I need to make time for food prep. Rest is also very important and I need to work on my time management so I have time for ample rest. And I will continue to train on my own with workouts from Brandon and push myself as if he is still there beside me motivating me. I have continue to remind myself that muscles are torn in the gym, fed in the kitchen and built in bed.  

Say what? The Brandon-isms of training...

It's hard to imagine training without this guy.

     Tonight was my last training session with my trainer, Brandon Mauro from Tranform PT at Muscle Inc., before he leaves Pennsylvania for a new adventure and the next chapter in his career. In the seven months I have known him I have completely shifted the way I look at life, deal with stress and pain, approach a problem, deal with people and even the way I teach my students. He has taught me so much about living a positive life, embracing a healthy lifestyle, eating good nutrition, taking care of my body, weight training, setting goals (and crushing them), pushing myself to be better and the importance of having life balance. (See Can I take a moment to give my trainer props) And we have even had more than a few good conversations about life, music, books, motivational speaking, traveling and philosophy along the way. It is because of his inspiration and motivation that I was able to lose 42 lbs so far, reach a personal record deadlift of 175 lbs for 10 reps, and a personal record squat of 135 lbs for 8 reps and countless other physical feats that I never imagined I would be able to do. And he is the reason I am motivated to keep pushing the limits for new PR's.

     

     When we started training last June my goal was to lose weight, get in shape and have more
energy. As we progressed I started to set other goals like get stronger and look leaner. And now I am setting goals like squatting 225 and having six pack abs. In seven months I have made the lifestyle change I set out to do. I eat clean, train six days a week, do my best to stay positive and motivated and even try to inspire others to do the same. I feel at home at the gym and everyone there has become my extended family. When I'm sick, sore or having a bad day I always feel better after a workout. And talking to Brandon is therapy when I need it. I have truly learned what it means to 'live my best life' as a result of knowing this man. And I mean it when I say I will miss him terribly. I kid and say I am his 'gym mom' but he has become a friend I can depend on, can talk to about anything and can make me laugh even when he's pushing me beyond what I think I can do. Muscle Inc will not be the same without him.

      The past seven months have been a learning experience to say the least. Brandon reminded me one day that in my case 'the teacher became the student' because I literally knew nothing about training, good nutrition or living a balanced life. And Brandon truly knows what he is talking about. #mytrainerknowshisshit So a couple months ago when I found out that Brandon would be leaving, I started to write down a list of all the things he says all the time. A reference of sorts for future motivation. Motivational phrases that I have considered printing out and plastering on the wall of the home gym my husband is building on the second floor of our garage.

     So here you will find a list of things that Brandon has said repeatedly over the course of our training. Brandon-ism if you will. And if you have ever trained with Brandon you will understand and recognize some (if not all) of the following quotes:

"It's all about the journey...and having fun!" From the very beginning Brandon made it clear that this was a journey and it wasn't so much about what my goals were but how I was getting to those goals.

"Don't believe everything you read on the internet." As an English teacher I say this to my students all the time. So it was funny to hear Brandon tell me the same thing. If I did my own research on something we were talking about I would often ask 'is this true?' and sometimes it was and other times it was misinformation.

"It's all about changing for the better gradually mentally, physically and spiritually." When I started to see results early on in my transformation I told Brandon how excited I was and that was his response. And over the months that followed I did change mentally, physically and spiritually for the better by changing my mindset.

"One more set..." I learned to not trust that when Brandon says 'last set' that it was, in fact, the last set. He often would change his mind about the number of sets (and sometimes reps) during a workout.

"You're going to be sore tomorrow..." 'Sore tomorrow' is a phrase that took on various meanings throughout our training. In the beginning it was an 'I hate you' sore where walking up stairs was a challenge or a 'go home and ice my bum shoulder' sore. As the training progressed and I got stronger being sore was a good thing. Recovery started to happen faster and the days I am most sore are after a heavy lifting day or high volume rep day. But the soreness I feel now is not a 'go home and ice my bum shoulder' sore.

Made Brandon a Choc Peppermint Cheesecake & he got his pump on.

"Ok. Stay there. Drop set!" The first time Brandon uttered the words 'drop set' was on a leg day
when I was on the leg extension machine. My quads were burning and Brandon told me we're going to do a drop set. When it was over my quads were on fire. That was early on in the training. Now I know if he says, "Ok. Stay there," he doesn't even need to finish the sentence. I know it means a drop set is coming.

"Cook everything in coconut oil. Nothing but coconut oil." When I started cooking clean there was a lot of things I changed about what I ate and how I prepared it. The biggest change was what I cooked my food in. Coconut oil. Just coconut oil. And the reason? Because coconut oil has a lot of nutrients and a high resistance to heat and retains those nutrients when you cook with it. Olive oil is good but has a low resistance to heat and loses nutrients at high temps.

"Take care of your body. It's the only one you get." From the moment Brandon said this to me the first time, I took it to heart. It was the driving force behind my motivation. At 48, I finally realized that I needed to take care of my body if I didn't want to worry about things like heart disease, diabetes and asthma. It is because of this quote that I think twice about unhealthy eating habits and even my cheat meals resemble a version of the clean diet I eat every day.

"We're just getting started. Much more results to come." Brandon congratulated me and celebrated with me every small success along my journey but he was always quick to remind me that there was more to come. Even this week as we talked about him leaving and me being on my own next week, he reminded me that I'm not done and there is much more to come.

"They've got it at Wegmans." I can honestly say I had never been to Wegmans before I met Brandon. My impression of the store was that it was another version of Whole Foods which meant it was expensive. I had heard their prepared foods were awesome. But it wasn't for the prepared foods that I ended up trying Wegmans. It was for the organic foods, grass fed beef and unique items they carried that were suddenly a part of my diet. If I couldn't find it anywhere else Brandon would tell me they had it at Wegmans. And I soon discovered that their prices were no worse than any other place I shop at.

"Getting the blood flowing will help the muscle recover." When I first started training with Brandon I was going to physical therapy for tendonitis and bursitis in my left shoulder. Within 2 weeks I had stopped going because during training sessions I was doing the same thing just with weights. Throughout the months that followed if my shoulder acted up or on one particular occasion when I woke up with a particularly stiff neck, I would always feel better after a workout and the blood got flowing to the muscles. In the past, I would be on the sofa with a heating pad and cocktail of painkillers and muscle relaxers.

"Americano?" When I started training with Brandon seven months ago I was an avid DD customer who loved her flavored coffees, especially at this time of year. Pumpkin Spice, Peppermint Mocha or whatever speciality flavor they were marketing for the season. When I started looking at nutritional information I realized what I was putting in my body with my daily coffee fix. Early on Brandon had told me 'better be black coffee.' And I have to say the first time I tried it black I swore off coffee for a while. That was until Brandon introduced me to Americanos. The first time I got him an Americano my car still smelled like coffee when I drove home that night and I decided I had to give it a try because it smelled so good! So the last two months of training it became a habit and I would get the daily text from Brandon before our training session started, "Americano?" It became our daily pre-workout ritual. I'd stop for Americanos and we would sit and bull shit while sipping coffee before we would train to 'get the endorphins going' as Brandon would say.

"Head up, butt out, chest up, shoulders back, heels down" Did you ever notice that many exercises at the gym require you to arch your back and stick out your butt or chest (or both). Brandon would constantly remind me to keep my head up, arch my back and stick my butt out, chest up, shoulders back and heels down when I was learning squat form. (And then would demonstrate with perfect form.) I needed a lot of help. (See Squat ass to grass or don't squat at all) When your awkward and self conscience about how you look or how big your butt is instructions for doing a squat can be intimidating. It is for this reason that it took me almost six months to get my squat form right enough that we could put weights on the bar which is probably why Brandon had to constantly remind me of what to do for proper squat form.

"Squat ass to the grass" Soon as I mastered the squat form, squatting with weight as low as I could go became my mission. Brandon would say to squat 'ass to grass' or not at all. He told me that if his clients weren't squatting ass to grass when they came to him they were before they left him and would jokingly threaten to drop me as a client if I couldn't. (like he would even LOL)

"Hold on a second..." When you're working out and Brandon needs to take care of someone at the counter or use the men's room. Or when he was in the middle of something when I text him a question. I always got the 'hold a sec...' and then he'd come back and seamlessly go back to what we were doing.

"Yeah, don't do that again." Brandon told me early on that I needed to learn gym etiquette (what was acceptable and not acceptable in gym culture.) Lesson #1: don't let the stacked weights on the cable machine slam when I finish with them. Or in other words, don't just let go. First time I did that is when I heard, "yeah, don't do that again."

"Commit to the rep." Once we started going heavy with squats I had to learn to do this. If I didn't commit to the rep that is when I would doubt myself and lose form. Brandon would say, 'visualize yourself going down and coming back up. Take your time. Breathe. Commit to the rep.'

"Chips and dip" Brandon's humorous reference to chins and dips. Let me tell you. Chins and dips are not as much fun as chips and dip.

"Go grab the next weight." When I say Brandon pushes his clients during a workout I mean he pushes. Brandon always had more faith in what I was capable of then I did in myself. And recently since we started setting weight goals he would push me to go heavier with every exercise. Just this past Monday night was one such night. We started dumbbell presses with 20's for the first set. Set #2 he told me to grab the 25's. Set #3 Brandon said grab the 35's. Not the 30's. The 35's. I looked straight at him and said, 'no.' He's like 'grab 'em. You can do it.' Well any weight that I have to use my quad to push it up is too heavy in my opinion. But I grabbed the 35's, went back to the bench, laid back and pushed the 35's up (with a little help from Brandon) but then bagged out 12 reps, all me.

"There's the kick!" Usually when we were pushing heavier weights and I was either nearing the end of the last set or we were at that point in the workout where my muscles were fried, my knee-jerk reaction was a kick. Sometimes a double kick. Luckily, Brandon was never standing in the wrong place when this happened and he could usually anticipate it coming. Although, the first time, Brandon was standing directly in front of me.

"Trust the process." There were several times along the way when I started to doubt my progress and Brandon always reminded me to "Trust the process." He'd explain that it doesn't happen overnight and that what I was doing was working. He'd also remind me that it wasn't just about weight loss and that I was gaining muscle too. As I continue on this journey and see small changes I am reminded that I can trust the process.

"Do your cardio." When I started with Brandon we trained only 2 days a week. After a month we upped it to 3 days. Once the challenge started in September we upped again to 4 days a week. By November when he announced he was leaving we started training 6 days a week in an attempt to get all the sessions on my contract in before he left. The more we trained, the more intense the workouts became and the more I dreaded doing cardio and had to be reminded to do it. One day recently, I was putting my coat on after training and Brandon yelled from across the gym, "Tricia, are you putting your coat on to work up a better sweat with your cardio." I laughed and told him I needed to go home and rest and see my husband.

"Get it." Whenever I get close to a goal or the end of a set for a new PR (personal record) Brandon would be my cheerleader of sorts with his "Get it!"

"Tighten your core. 2 seconds down. 1 second up." When doing heavy squats I had a tendency to overthink the rep. I wouldn't breathe or I would get distracted and my form would suffer as a result. Brandon would remind me if I keep my core tight and focus on my breathing I should take 2 seconds down and 1 second up. Go down slow and controlled so as to not 'free fall' but come right back up so I didn't lose form.

"Eyes on the prize." Especially during the Transformation Challenge Brandon always reminded me to keep my goals in mind and remember what the end benefits were. I did this throughout the training and especially during the challenge and placed 3rd overall as a result. (See Top 3 baby! Not bad for a newbie...)

"#balance" Training is more than just working out and eating right. It's about life balance. My life balance became my obsession and included everything from good nutrition and the gym to social time with my husband and friends, quiet time on my patio, snuggle time with my grandson, time to reflect and read and even a few concerts. If you ask Brandon, he'd probably tell you I had too much balance. Whenever Brandon and I talked about something I was doing outside the gym we would hashtag it #balance.

"#adapt" As we went through training I learned to adapt to new things. And as I went through the process whenever we realized this we’d hashtag it #adapt.

"That would be sick!" One of Brandon's favorite things to say whenever he thought something was a great idea.

"Mind over matter. Don't overthink it. Just do it." As we went heavy with my weight goals I needed this reminder often. If I took too much time at the top of a rep for squats or deadlifts I would overthink it and psych myself out. Brandon would say this and again, I would visualize myself doing it and just do it.

"Arch your back." I can't tell you how many times I heard this. Just last night I had to be reminded several times while doing deadlifts.

"Head up." Same with this. Brandon would have to remind me regularly to keep my head up in certain exercises.

"Finish strong." Last set, last exercise of the night and I'd hear Brandon tell me to 'finish strong.' Some nights this was hard depending on what body part we were working and how hard we worked out.

"Shabooom!" An expression of affirmation or celebration that Brandon used for the first time in a text message a couple months ago. I had no idea what it was or what it meant. I actually thought it was a typo. LOL Brandon and I used it to make a point, to say there ya go! Shabooom!

"Don't forget to breathe." Sounds so simple and you’d probably think ‘how do you forget to breathe?’ but when doing squats and deadlifts Brandon would tell me ‘I should hear you breathing!” Learning to control my breathing during an exercise was one of the first things I had to learn.

"Ok. NEVER do that again. Worst way to chuck weights ever." One night after finishing a set of dumbbell presses Brandon said ‘ok chuck ‘em.’ and I literally chucked them with a push from my shoulders. Brandon looked at me and scolded me very firmly when he said to NEVER do it that way again. And then he followed it up with, "I have to be careful how I use the word chuck with you."

"Apes Eat Bananas, Apes are Jacked." If you train with Brandon get used to him eating in front of you. One thing you always see Brandon eating is bananas. And when Brandon is asked why he eats so many bananas. This was his reply.

"Your muscles are poppin'!" During an intense arm day workout every once in a while Brandon would say this. I have noticed definition in my muscles especially my arms recently too. It gives me a great sense of accomplishment.

"No fear, no doubt, bang it out!" Brandon became Dr. Seuss right before my last squat max PR last week. He was basically telling me to not overthink it and not to let fear enter my mind. He knew I could do and refused to let me doubt myself.

"#respectthedepth" When I finally reached my 135 squat goal and we took a video to share (See Squat ass to grass or don’t squat at all) Brandon told me to hashtag it #respectthedept because I did just what I was taught and went as low as I could go.

"The one before THE ONE. One squat. Tight. Clean. Smooth down and then up." When Brandon says 'The one before THE ONE' he’s referring to the set before attempting a new PR. One clean squat or deadlift. Then that ONE is followed by the PR set.

"Don't be intimidated by the size of the plate. The 45's are only ten pounds heavier." As if he could read my mind as I stared down the 45’s the first time they were on a barbell I was lifting, Brandon turned to me and told me not to feel intimidated because we only went up 10 lbs from the last set. Somehow the 45’s do get to me and every once in a while I psyched myself out overthinking the rep.

"Gloves are for sissys. Gotta be tough!" When we went heavy with standard deadlifts it was the first time I saw calluses on my hands. I look at them as battle scars but all my friends told me I should get gloves. I told them I had a feeling Brandon would disagree and that was his response. Although, I am at a point where the weight of my deadlifts is more than my grip can handle so gloves or straps will help with my grip as I keep increasing my max weight.

"NEXT... " This last quote I need to give credit to another client of Brandon's, Matthew Gallagher. He started with Brandon at the age of 53 and 300 pounds. When he finished with Brandon he was 54 and 245 lbs. Matthew explained to me, "as much as he pushed me, I pushed him. I would not let him get to me so after every exercise, no matter how much I hurt, no matter how much I was sweating I used to jump up and say NEXT!!!! As much as he challenged me I challenged myself but that's what makes him such a great trainer." And it's true. Brandon IS a great trainer. For me 'Next...' was something he said after each exercise or after I crushed a PR goal. 

     Now it’s time for me to say "Next..." to Brandon. Next career goal, next adventure, next life challenge, next chapter. NEXT...

Good luck to my seinse, my gym guru, my yoda, my friend, mentor and inspiration. You are going to do great!! And I look forward to a kick ass workout with you when I see you again! Shaboooom!!

Living with positivity, more than just a way of thinking

     Living with positivity is not just about how you think. It is a decision, a mindset, or in my case a whole life shift. Living with positivity is something I've been trying to do for the last eight years. But in the last seven months I feel I have really started to master it. I have gotten to a point where I truly look at the positive side of every situation. I try to wake up with a smile, show I care about the people in my life, remember to say I love you, help where and when I can, kiss loved ones goodbye before they leave, try to see things from someone else's view, consider I do not know what someone is going through, apologize when I'm wrong, never go to bed mad and always kiss my husband goodnight. I attribute my ability to do this in part to my husband, Steve, and in part to my time at the gym. Training, working out and the positive, motivating atmosphere at Muscle Inc. and the motivational spirit of my trainer, Brandon, have taught me that life is too short to not live with a positive attitude. 

     For many years I found it impossible to look at life through a positive lense. My first marriage was a tumultuous roller coaster to say the least. After 20 years of dealing with it, I hit my breaking point the summer of 2011 when verbal abuse turned physical. At that point I was at my lowest. When I look back at that day I see a completely different person from the strong, confident woman I am today. There are two significant life events that have changed my life for the positive in recent years. The first was when my second husband, Steve, came into my life. The second is when I started training at the gym with Brandon. Steve and Brandon have both impacted my life in very positive but very different ways.

     Meeting my husband, Steve, was my first step towards positivity. When my first marriage ended so abruptly that summer I had a support system of family and friends who helped me get through it. The hardest time was when I was alone and actually thought about what I had done. So I was rarely left alone. I had spent the previous 20 years in an ugly cycle of 'leave him, go back, leave him, go back.' This time I was not going back. When Steve came into the picture he took me off guard in the way he made everything about me and my happiness. Steve showed me how a man should treat a woman, helped me realize I'm not an ugly person or worthless and made me feel like I mattered. It took me a long time to get used to being treated well. I used to wonder why he was being so nice to me. It had been so long since I felt like my happiness mattered. Since the fall of 2011 when Steve came into my life I have learned a lot about myself. And I am finally at a point now where I can look at my first marriage and see that everything happens for a reason. My first marriage made me stronger, prepared me for the rest of my life and helped make me a better teacher, friend and mother. My second marriage made me realize all this and helped me see things in a more positive light.

     Working with my trainer, Brandon, was the second step towards positivity. Earlier this year when I decided to take control of my health and well being by signing up for a trainer I had no idea how the experience was going to impact me. I had said I wanted to make a lifestyle change with diet and exercise. Little did I know that my trainer, Brandon, was going to teach me a thing or two about living a better life. Training and eating clean changed how I felt physically and helped improve how I felt mentally too. The further I got into training, though, the more I could see my mind shifting to a more positive mindset and it was seeping into all aspects of my life. My relationships with family, friends, my students and my husband all improved. I had more energy. And as I got to the point that I was seeing results and felt comfortable in my own skin again, I was happier. 

     Living with positivity cannot just be how you think. It has to be a part of everything you do, everything you say, every thought you have. (or at least as close to every as possible). Like a lot of other things at the gym being positive is mind over manner. It is a decision to live your best life. It is the mindset that negativity has no place in your life. It is a whole life shift to be happy. Living with positivity is not just a way of thinking. It's a way of life.

Happiness should be a class taught in high school...or at the gym

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  If I haven't mentioned before, I am a teacher in a Pennsylvania high school. Today a female student of mine came to class crying. When I walked into the classroom she was sitting at her desk, face all red and streaming with tears, surrounded by her friends. As I approached her I looked at her and jokingly said (while pounding my fist in my hand), "If this is about a boy, tell me who he is and I'll take care of him. I work out." My comment drew a brief smile and she went back to crying. Her friends were telling her to 'block him' and 'put your phone on do not disturb.' It broke my heart to know that someone was making her feel this way. I sat down in all seriousness and told her she deserves to be happy and anyone who makes her feel like this does not deserve her. She is a beautiful person and I hated seeing her this way. In the 43 minutes she was in my classroom I made it my mission to make her smile and maybe even laugh. We ditched the days lesson because I felt this was more important. I teach my students to stand up for themselves and what they believe in. What better 'cause' then your own happiness. She reminded me of myself a decade ago when I allowed my life circumstances and the person I was with to dictate my happiness. In the end, I was a defeated person, ripped of my self esteem, self worth and my happiness. After 20 years in the same relationship, I was a completely different person than the person I am today. I realized, as some would say too late, that I absolutely have control of my own happiness and that it was up to me to make the changes to be happy. And it was then that I realized I wasn't being selfish for wanting to be happy. I shared some of my life experience with my students and turned to the female student who was crying and told her, "Please don't wait 20 years to learn this. Learn from my mistakes."

    After class was over (and yes, I made the student laugh before the end of the period) I started to think about how training has changed my way of looking at happiness and how to attain it. Happiness, although it can be impacted by the world around us and the people we interact with, is something that is NOT out of our control. I realize that now. Back then if someone had said that to me I would have given them a list of reasons why I had no control over my happiness. I felt trapped, unloved, beaten down and like no one cared. When in reality all I had to do was say enough was enough and make the decision to leave. The day I left was not a pretty one and one that I am glad is far in the past. I always say that day was the best decision I ever made (until I decided to sign up for a trainer) but finding my happiness did not happen overnight. It took me a long time to realize I deserved to be happy. It took even longer for me to figure out what I had to do to make my own happiness. And what it boils down to is, that happiness is in our minds. Like trying to get my mind right before doing a heavy squat or deadlift. Happiness needs to be visualized. If you can't see yourself happy or if you can come up with all kinds of reasons why the circumstance you're in, the people in your life or any other outside force is why you are unhappy then you will always be unhappy. I don't know if its this realization or just life experience but I refuse to let any negative outside force interfere with my vision of a happy life.

    I recently started listening to the audiobook, Own the Day, Own Your Life by Aubrey Marcus. (and no this is not a plug for the book). In the book he talks about small changes you can make to change your day so it doesn't 'own you.' Ultimately, making these small changes can lead to a happier life. I wish I had had advice like this when I was younger. Aubrey Marcus has a unique view on unhappiness. He says that "our happiness is determined by our inner state of mind, general vitality, and presence of being" and that we should not blame external causes for our unhappiness. And it’s true. Although, there are situations where we will ultimately get upset or feel defeated, it is how we survive and get through those situations that will determine our happiness. In other words, how we take control of the situation. Twenty years ago, I didn't take control of the situation and I sacrificed my happiness as a result.

    I found myself showing my students my super proud moment, the video of me squatting 135. (See Squat ass to grass or not at all) I told them how training at the gym has changed my outlook on life in a positive way. And after they finished commenting about how hot my trainer is, I told them all that happiness is a choice. At the end of the period I told the female student that I know it is easier said than done but that she is too young to be in an relationship that makes her unhappy. And the day she has the courage to say enough is enough will be a step towards happiness. I also may have mentioned going to the gym can help too.

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Squat 'ass to grass' or don't squat at all

     
When I started training with Brandon back in June I was not strong nor was I flexible. I remember thinking every weight I picked up was heavy. And when it came to doing certain movements I, quite frankly, sucked. I couldn't get the form right or I just couldn't do it at all. One such exercise was barbell squats. Hell, I couldn't even do air squats without losing my balance and falling over. Brandon had told me that as I progressed I would get more flexible but I kept thinking to myself 'what's so hard about doing a squat?' I even recall one workout where Brandon put me on the Smith Machine (a weight machine that includes a barbell set in a steel frame that allows vertical movement of the barbell ~ See Gym Lingo, a vocabulary lesson) to help me get the form right. That day I even had Pete, owner of Muscle Inc., giving me pointers. I'm telling you it was bad and I needed help.

     So in September when I finally got the form right and could squat without losing my balance or falling forward or backward I was ecstatic. When I started squatting with just the bar (which is still 45 lbs of weight) Brandon told me I needed to squat 'ass to grass' or not at all. I became obsessed with making sure if I was squatting I was squatting as deep as I could go, ass to grass (or in my case, boobs to thighs) and with good form. If I couldn't do it right what was the point?  Brandon would remind me "head up, butt out, chest up, shoulders back, heels down." And eventually my form improved and we started adding weight. I realized how far I had come one Sunday afternoon in October when we had worked up to 80 lbs. (See When you realize how far you have come)I asked Brandon to take a video so I could see what my form looked like. 80 lbs was a lot but my true goal was to squat 135 lbs (two 45 lb plates + the bar) and to do it deep. 

     So we set a goal to squat 135 for 8 reps by December. Each Sunday was my leg day and we would alternate heavy weight workouts with high rep workouts. Each week we went heavy the goal would be a max PR 10 lbs heavier than the last time. If all went as planned I would hit 135 the first Sunday in December. As the weight got heavier Brandon would remind me to "tighten my core, two seconds down, one second up. Slow and controlled on the way down so your core stays tight." I had a tendency to go down too fast or 'free fall' as Brandon would say and my core would get lose and I'd break form. Brandon would say, 'Commit to the rep. Take a few breaths and get your mind right.' Once I got in the mindset where I could visualize myself going down and coming back up, squatting deep with weight became easier and I started to get excited about my goal that was approaching faster than I expected. 

    So the Transformation Challenge ended and Thanksgiving came and went and before I knew it the first weekend in December was here. Two weeks ago we began splitting leg day into a hamstring day and a quad day. And because we did hamstrings on Friday, we did quads last night rather than Sunday to allow enough recovery time. Last week on quad day I had squat 125 for 2 sets of 8. So last night when I entered the gym it was THE day. I was going to do 135, two 45 lb plates on the bar for 8 reps. This was a huge milestone for me. And after a restless night's sleep the night before and a migraine that morning I walked into the gym last night pumped. 

     Last night was leg day, quad day, heavy squats day and a chance at a new personal record (PR). We started by stretching, something that Brandon had recently told me he used to do religiously every morning but hadn't for some time. But that stretching was an important part of working out. So holding on to the rack I stretched out my quads, back and shoulders. I did a few air squats to stretch even more. Then I started with a couple sets warming up with just the bar followed by 3 sets slowly adding weight until I reached last weeks PR of 125. The one before THE ONE. One squat at 125. Tight. Clean. Smooth down and then up. When it was time to put the 45 lb plates on the bar just like the day we did deadlifts Brandon looked at me and told me not to be intimidated by the size of the plate. The 45's were only ten pounds heavier. He reminded me that I was strong enough, just have to get my mind set and do it. So I did it! I did 135 for one set and then another. My confidence was a little shaky on the first set but my depth was good and I made it to 8 without falling on my ass, dropping the bar, or giving up. We decided I would do another set of 8 and we would take a video to document it.

      The second set was the better of the two. I told Brandon that it was the better because after one set I had no doubt I could do it. Before I started the second set Brandon told me, "No fear, no doubt, bang it out!" And that is just what I did. When I look at the video I realize how super proud I am of the progress I have made in the short time I've been training. Less than a year ago I had never stepped into a gym before and here I am squatting ass to grass with 135 lbs of weight on my shoulders. When I first started training I remember one day looking at videos on Transform PT's facebook page. On the page was a video of a girl doing barbell squats. I was really impressed and secretly wished I could do that but never imagined I would. In fact, there are a lot of things I never imagined I'd be able to do. 

     Now I think about my next goal. 225 baby! Thanks to my awesome trainer (whom you can see spotting me in the video) who pushes me every step of the way and believes in me even when I'm not sure about it myself, I have no doubt that I will reach my next goal no problem.

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#respectthedepth
#asstograss
#squatdeeporgohome

Top 3 baby!! Not bad for a newbie

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Check out my FB album, Reaching Goals  

After ten weeks of hard training, following a strict meal plan, giving carb cycling a try (and surviving), and literally being at the gym every day, the final weigh-in for the Muscle Inc Fall Transformation Challenge was here. On Saturday November 17 the challengers who stuck it out to the end came in for final pictures, measurements and weigh-in at Muscle Inc. I was excited to see the results but nervous about whether or not I had a chance at winning. I had worked really hard but had already decided that this was not the end and that the challenge was just a stepping stone along my journey. If I didn't win I was still proud of what I accomplished.

     I actually felt pretty good when I got to the gym that Saturday morning and couldn't wait to see what my weight loss was. All in all, I lost 21 lbs and 14 inches in the 10 week challenge. My goal had been 25 lbs but 21 was still a good finish. At the beginning of the challenge when we had the initial weigh-in, measurements and pictures I had Bobby take before pics with my phone too so I had a frame of reference. When I looked at the pics that day I was a little disgusted. I told Brandon, "I'm not happy with my before pics!" And he told me, "Good! You're not supposed to like them." So during the 10 week challenge I used those pictures as a motivator to stay the course. I was at the gym 6 days a week training and working out. I followed the prescribed meal plan that Brandon gave me and started carb cycling in week 8. I only weighed in every 2 weeks to keep myself from obsessing over the number on the scale. All this plus Brandon's motivational style of training is what contributed to my success.

    It would be 2 weeks before the winners were announced.  The final weigh-in was the weekend before Thanksgiving. So the trainers didn't vote until the following week. The suspense was killing me. Brandon said to me one night last week when we were training, "The trainers are voting tonight. So soon as we are done training I'm putting in my vote." I told him to vote honestly. I didn't want his vote simply because I was his client. I wanted him to vote for the person whom he felt had the biggest transformation.

Before and after pics from the 10 week Muscle Inc Fall Transformation Challenge 2018

   

I started my transformation  journey in June after being inspired by several people in my life and at the gym. I joined the challenge because my trainer, Brandon, had inspired me to continue to set goals and move forward in my journey. His faith in me is what keeps me inspired at the gym. And having a husband who has supported me and encouraged me every step of the way is a huge support too. Brandon told me once "Take care of your body. It’s the only one you get!" and I can't believe I never thought about my health and well being like that before. I think about the day he said that to me often as I go through my transformation and reach my goals. As we approached the end of the challenge I thought to myself that the challenge was a stepping stone that gave my weight loss and training a boost but it is not the end of my journey. I do not plan to stop. The challenge is over and I'm still at it full speed setting goals in heavy squats and deadlifts for strength and setting expectations for changes in my body and appearance.

    But I was excited when I got my official results from the Transformation Challenge. I forgot to have Bobby take after pics on the final weigh-in and that was part of the reason I was so anxious to hear the results. Two days after the trainers voted I messaged Bobby asking when they were announcing the winner because the suspense was killing me! Later that day, I was more than excited to find out I had taken 3rd place when I saw the post on Muscle Inc.'s Facebook and Instagram pages. Top 3 baby! I still crack up when I look at my before pics. Boy, if that is not a serious game face, I don't know what is!

Sept 7 >>> Nov 17 (10 wks)

Weight 204 > 183 ⬇️ 21 lbs

Waist 39 1/2 > 33 ⬇️ 6 1/2 in

Hips 47 > 44 1/4 ⬇️ 2 3/4 in

Arm 12 1/2 > 11 1/2 ⬇️ 1 in

Thigh 27 >23 ⬇️ 4 in

    After the challenge I was overwhelmed by the congratulations from friends, family and followers on IG and FB. It felt good to be recognized for my hard work. I had told Brandon I wanted to win for the bragging rights. Well, 3rd place was good enough for me. I was flattered by the accolades from Transform PT and Muscle Inc. This has been an incredible journey so far. I am so glad I joined Muscle Inc. last February and signed up for a trainer with Transform PT in June. Right now, I am having a hard time wrapping my brain around the idea that after only 9 months I placed in the top 3 for my first challenge. The trainers at Transform PT are incredible and Muscle Inc. has become my extended family!

    This whole experience has inspired me to write this blog. I am sad to see my trainer, Brandon, move on though. The relationship we have formed is indescribable. He is my sensei, my gym guru, my friend, my motivator and my inspiration. I have been training with him 6 days a week to finish our sessions before he leaves. But I will continue on my journey after he is gone and I will continue to blog about it too!  Thank you Brandon and all the awesome people at Muscle Inc. and Transform PT. You have literally changed my life!

    So if you are sitting there reading this thinking you wish you had the motivation to start on your own fitness journey. If you have ever thought you were too old, too tired, to busy or too inexperienced to change your outlook on life and reinvent yourself for the better...think again!  And if you need someone to help you get motivated, I’m all ears. But I must warn you if you ask me for advice you will end up at the gym and sore the next day. 💪🏻💪🏻