Muscles are torn in the gym, fed in the kitchen and built in bed

     Man! I cannot believe that the month of December is almost over! I know this is the time of year to reflect on the year and make New Year's Resolutions but I want to take a moment to reflect just on the last month. The last few weeks were long. It felt like they went on forever but yet flew by. This year was a life-changing year for me but this month was the most challenging of them all. (Aside from trying to find time to write this blog and work on writing my book) I've pushed myself to the max at the gym which is challenging in and of itself, especially since Brandon moved and the workouts he has been sending me are advanced and dependent on me deciding what weight to start and finish with for each exercise. I struggled this month with time management and staying on plan through the holidays and the last four days I have eaten more junk than I care to admit or that Brandon would want to know about. (Sorry boss!) But I weighed in this morning and I am happy to see that the number on the scale has not changed. So even though I was a little out of control it was just a little set back in discipline. I need to reset and refocus and move on. Also, this month between working full time, getting everything ready for the holiday's, training at the gym every night, food prep, keeping up with my family and writing I found myself getting to bed way too late every night. I think I got maybe four or five hours sleep each night. By the end of last week I was so exhausted I felt like I was sleepwalking. I am pretty sure that the exhaustion I was feeling is what led to my slacking in other areas of what I have tried to make a positive, healthy, motivating, inspired lifestyle. I guess what I'm trying to say is that even though I have written about my successes with training and making a lifestyle change, there are still challenges and I am far from perfect and the stress of everyday life still gets to me. But it is the response to it and how I deal with it that has changed.

"To wait for the external world around you to change before you alleviate your stress is a fools errand. You know what’s beyond that mountain? More fucking mountains. If you’re going to climb then you better adapt. Chronic stress is less about the environment and more about your response to it. So own it." - Own the Day, Own Your Life by Aubrey Marcus 

     Brandon told me early on in my training that there are three things that are important to success in training; good nutrition, plenty of rest, and the gym (in that order). I've got the latter part down.  I have adapted to the mindset that I 'have to go' to the gym instead of I'd 'like to go or should go' to the gym. And when I go I have no problem pushing myself to the max. Brandon has instilled in me a 'push' that drives me to make every day at the gym a badass workout. He jokingly said it is his gift to me, Merry Christmas! (insert laughing emoji) But I have to say it is one of the best gifts I could get. I find myself at the gym training on my own, looking at the workout he has sent to me and picturing what he would be saying if he were standing right there while I was doing each exercise. I have learned that is part of the 'push.' Even without him there I do not disappoint, myself or him. The workouts he sends me don't include the weight for each set. He told me to feel it out and choose a weight that is challenging but not too heavy. So I look at the weights and choose what I think I can handle for that particular exercise. But as I am finding out from the severity of my DOMS (delayed onset muscle soreness), often I am pushing for the more challenging weights. So of the three parts of training, the gym has been no problem for me. Nutrition and rest on the other hand are something I need to perfect.
     
      My obsession with the gym has been a double edged sword. Although, the training is getting me into the best shape of my life, it has also become a big part of my free time. And as I said, time management is something I struggled with this month and although, I have made the gym a priority, making the time for good nutrition and rest is something I still need to work on. Before Brandon moved we were training 6 days a week which meant I was at the gym for a couple hours each week night and on Sunday afternoons. So after working all day I would get home, change for the gym, feed my family, and head out the door. By the time I got home it would be bed time for little man, pack lunches, get everything together for the next work day and on some nights grade papers or tweak lesson plans, work on this blog or my book and I still needed to squeeze in some quality time with my husband. The weekend would come and I would be just as busy. Saturday is typically my rest day from the gym but I would pack everything else into that day; free time with family and friends, cleaning, food shopping, running errands and writing. Then Sunday was the gym and food prep, lesson plans and grading for the week and often a family gathering of some sort. And there were times when I only had time to prep meals for the next day instead of the week. This meant I had to make time at some point during the week to do meal prep which would mean staying up late after getting home from the gym and doing everything else in my daily evening routine. When Brandon moved I started hitting the gym in the afternoon so I had my evenings free. But at that point my evenings were dedicated to Christmas shopping, decorating the house, food shopping, wrapping presents and preparing for a Christmas party and ultimately, getting to bed very late every night. By the time the Christmas break arrived I was so exhausted I slept in last Saturday, something I needed a long time before that.  
     
      The busier I am the less time I have for food prep. When it comes to nutrition I am most successful when I plan and prep ahead of time.  Like teaching a unit in my classroom where the most successful lessons are those that are planned and prepared well. And the more exhausted I was the more I found myself slacking on nutrition. At first with food prep and later with missing meals here and there and for the last week not following the meal plan at all. And although I started by trying to make smart choices and eating clean food, that did not last through the holiday. The last four days I found myself eating bread dip, Christmas cookies, waffles and other carbs and processed foods that I haven't touched in months. And I have enjoyed more than a couple glasses of wine or adult beverages in the last week as well. Last night, I took a step back and told myself that I had to get back on plan. And the best way for me to get on plan is to take the time to do meal prep. Food shopping and prepping my meals for the rest of the week will be my priority tomorrow morning. Getting back onto carb cycling and my supplements (which I haven't taken in over a week. Again, sorry boss!) is the only way my hard work at the gym will pay off.

      So looking over this last month and evaluating where I am and how far I have come, I have to remind myself that I'm not done yet with my weight loss journey. I still have about 30 lbs to lose and its time to refocus. My nutrition is an important part of this whole process and I need to make time for food prep. Rest is also very important and I need to work on my time management so I have time for ample rest. And I will continue to train on my own with workouts from Brandon and push myself as if he is still there beside me motivating me. I have continue to remind myself that muscles are torn in the gym, fed in the kitchen and built in bed.